I was only teasing him, sir
by Possum132
Summary: Who did Bertha Jorkins see kissing Florence behind the greenhouses? Severus Snape, of course. A sad, sordid little incident from Snape's youth.
1. Chapter 1: Severus

**I was only teasing him, sir, I only said I'd seen him kissing**

**Florence behind the greenhouses last Thursday**

_This vignette isn't part of the seven part series that starts with "Why Snape never eats here" – it's just an unpleasant little story that helps to explain how Snape became the seedy, damaged individual he is in my version of the Potterverse. I had to write it after making so many snide references to Florence, the girl whose surname no one can remember._

**Chapter 1: Severus**

He's skipping his classes and he's lurking in his favourite nook in the Library, next to the Restricted Section, it's been his bolthole since his first few days at Hogwarts, the place where he's spent most of the time when he wasn't in class or in the Slytherin Common Room with his gang, but they've all left now. Rosier and Wilkes, the last of his close friends, left at the end of last year, at the end of his sixth year, and he doesn't really like any of the Slytherins in his classes or many of the sixth years either, they're all as dumb as dogshit except for Mehitabel, so he mostly hangs around with a couple of fifth years, Regulus Black and Barty Crouch. Regulus is a bit wet but he'd taken the kid under his wing years ago, when it became clear that his brother Sirius was going to give him a hard time for being sorted into Slytherin, and Barty's OK, he suspects that Bartemius Crouch junior might have a bit more to him than first appears.

The nook is his safe place, there's only room for one student at the tiny desk, he's got a wall at his back and the gates to the Restricted Section at one side, magic in the Library is _strictly_ prohibited, and if anyone broke that rule the books in the Restricted Section would go ballistic. And for years Lily Evans and her girlfriends have used the big table nearby, he can listen to her voice, occasionally look up and see her face, and snigger at the put-downs she's dished out to James bloody Potter ... but she's rarely at that table now, she's usually with Potter ... James _fucking_ Potter, and other students have started using the table, often giggling inane girls who occasionally have the presumption to bother him, to ask him imbecile questions about their Potions homework.

He's thinking, _shit, shit, shit,_ I am in so much trouble ... this means the Headmaster's office, it won't just be a rap over the knuckles from old Slughorn. Hexing Bertha Jorkins isn't such a big deal, I didn't use anything serious, she really looked a mess but it wasn't a bone-breaking curse, it wasn't a slicing hex, it wasn't _Sectumsempra_, I didn't really hurt her, but she is a girl, I've never hexed a girl before, and what has she told them about Florence? And what is Florence saying about me? Dumbledore must have owled her parents by now, she'll be in trouble too if she tells the truth. What if she says it was rape? After what I said to her in the Great Hall, she might say that ... and they would believe her, the sweet pretty little Hufflepuff girl who's never had a detention in her life, they wouldn't believe _me_, I'm a filthy Slytherin, Dumbledore made it pretty clear what he thinks of me last year, the Marauders tried to _kill_ me and they didn't even lose points! Oh shit, if she says _that_, it won't just be expulsion, it will be Azkaban, and it will all come out, the truth about my filthy Muggle father and the squalid dump we live in, it'll probably make the _Daily Prophet_.

And then he thinks of something even worse, what if she's pregnant? Sweet Merlin, he'll have to marry her, just like his father had to marry his mother, he'd worked that out a long time ago, it wasn't hard, putting together his parents' wedding anniversary, his birthday – the 9th of January – and his father's drunken rants about the "deceitful bitch". And if he has to marry her, he can kiss goodbye to all his hopes of making something of himself ... he hadn't even thought about contraception, girls took care of that, didn't they? Mehitabel did, she's in sixth year, the year below him, she's Captain and Seeker of the Slytherin Quidditch Team, and giving Potter a real run for his money this season, and she's the one who taught him that if a girl asks for help with her Potions assignment, what she really means is a quick shag in the broom cupboard in the corridor round the corner past the Slytherin Common Room door. Bloody Mehitabel, she's no Slytherin princess, not like Narcissa Black - or Narcissa Malfoy as she's been for over a year now - no, Mehitabel is a Slytherin queen, queen bitch. She's the most attractive girl in Slytherin House, she doesn't have a boyfriend, she has a bevy of admirers in every House and she doesn't belong to any of them, and she'd relieved him of the burden of his virginity in something less than three minutes.

Mehitabel! She's the real reason why he's in this mess, it's true that he hadn't actually _asked_ her to go to Hogsmeade that weekend with him, he'd just assumed that they'd go together because for the previous fortnight she'd spent practically every night in his bed - thank god Hogwarts didn't have Muggle beds, it had old fashioned four-posters with curtains that you could draw, because there was no way that he was going to get into bed with a girl if there was a chance that someone was watching. Hell, he knew Mehitabel had been with plenty of boys before him, including Sirius Black, and it wasn't like they were _engaged_, not like the Gryffindor lovebirds James Potter and Lily Evans, but they were a couple, right?

So when he'd seen her walking down the steps of the Entrance Hall, arm in arm with Sirius Black, chatting and laughing with James and Lily, his heart had nearly stopped – and Lily had to see it, had to see the look on his face before he could wipe it off, and she'd looked saddened and sympathetic, but that had only churned him up even more. Oh yes, he'd had it out with Mehitabel when she got back from Hogsmeade, she'd said she was just psyching Potter out for next week's Gryffindor-Slytherin match, and who she spent time with was none of his business anyway, she was no man's property and it was going to stay that way, whether she played Quidditch professionally or went into the Auror Corps, she wasn't getting married and ending up as a doormat like her bloody mother, thank you very much! He'd got an earful, and now she isn't talking to him, let alone sleeping with him. So he'd gone back to sulking in the Library, as miserable and lonely as hell, trying to revise for the NEWTs but all he could think of was girls, girls, girls ...

Lily, who he'd stuffed up with in fifth year, during the OWLs, he'd called her a filthy Mudblood that awful day by the Lake when Potter had threatened to take his underpants off – he flexes his fingers a little at _that_ memory, the rage and hate is strong enough to fuel the Killing Curse - by the time he'd really got to know Lily in old Slughorn's special advanced tutorials for "my two most brilliant NEWT students" she was already going out with Potter and completely besotted with the arrogant prick, but they'd become friends, for what _that_ was worth, and she was Muggle-born anyway, his position as a half-blood – if they ever found out about his stinking Muggle father – was too precarious for him to get mixed up with a Muggle-born Gryffindor. Yes, they were _friends_, but she was still the most beautiful girl in the school and he wanted her so much that it ached. Lily was really something, not that he was in _love_ with her or anything, but it was galling to see her throwing herself away on that arsehole Potter, he wasn't good enough for her, and she didn't know what he was really like, what a brute he was. He thinks, oh yes, Potter made sure there were no witnesses that day in third year when he broke my nose, fucking hell that _hurt_, I can still remember it, if Potter ever, ever hits Lily I'll kill him, I swear I'll kill him, if I ever see her with a bruise on her face or her arm, I'll kill him.

Mehitabel, well he doesn't care about _that_ bitch at all, she's just one of Sirius Black's molls anyway and her politics are bullshit, she doesn't like that bloke Voldemort that Lucius supports, she'd said, "Look Severus, I know you think Slughorn is a tedious old poof but he's very well connected, he's got his finger on the pulse, and he doesn't like Voldemort. I admit that it sounds good, putting the other Houses in their place and sorting out the Muggles and Mudbloods but Voldemort is going to get us Slytherins into trouble, people don't like his methods and we're the ones who are going to get covered in crap when it all goes horribly wrong." He tells himself, I don't care about Mehitabel, she's a total slut, but he knows that if she asks him to "help her with her Potions assignment" again, he won't say no.

Then there's Florence, a half-blood Hufflepuff fifth year, he'd started to notice her a while ago, she always seemed to be sitting at Lily's old table when he was in the Library, sometimes alone and sometimes with friends, at first he'd been pissed off that she was using Lily's table, he'd given her a few filthy glares, and then he'd realised that she was really very pretty, strawberry blonde hair and big blue eyes, hard to tell under the robes but her body looked more the type that he liked, Mehitabel was a bit too slim and athletic for his taste. Florence was built more like Lily, and one day when he'd brushed past her he'd glanced down, her robes were loose, and he'd got a good look, was that bit of lace a Muggle bra?

No wonder the pureblood Slytherin boys were fascinated by Muggle females, every witch over the age of eleven was swaddled in robes, and there was scarcely any difference between wizards' robes and witches' robes. The purebloods didn't know much about Muggles but they knew that Muggle females flaunted their bodies in skimpy clothing and they thought they were easy ... big mistake, going by the Muggle prick teasing bitch he'd had dealings with over the last summer holidays. He'd sat down at his desk, his heart pounding, and knowing his face had gone that unpleasant brick colour, she must know that he'd looked ... but after that he'd often sneaked a quick look at her, and plenty of times she looked back.

And then, only last Thursday afternoon, Lupin had come into the Library and asked Florence if she knew where Lily was, as if the werewolf didn't bloody know! Gryffindor Quidditch practice, Lily would be down at the pitch watching James showing off on his broom, _bastard_, and so would Mehitabel, checking out Potter's moves, and snogging with Black. His stomach had knotted at the thought, and then Florence had come over to him and asked him to help her with her Potions assignment, she has to write three feet of parchment on the uses of asphodel ... bloody hell, could that mean what he thinks it means? But Florence is a prim and proper Hufflepuff, not a shameless Slytherin slut like Mehitabel, maybe it doesn't mean anything. He'd looked into her eyes but his Legilimency skills are still rudimentary and he needs his wand for the spell anyway, so he can't tell ... he'd told her a few things about asphodel, and by Merlin she _doesn't_ need any help with her Potions assignment, she'd leaned over and kissed him, very tentatively. He hadn't needed a second invitation, he'd kissed her back, and very enthusiastically, without even taking the precaution of looking around to check that no one was watching.

He'd wanted to do a lot more than kissing, and it was a beautiful spring day, so he'd suggested that they walk down to the greenhouses, he'll show her where the asphodel grows, it's used in a lot of healing potions, and one of the things that he and Lily do for extra NEWT credit is brew up batches of healing potions for the Hospital Wing. She was as eager to get out of the Library as he was, and so they'd walked down together, he'd looked down his long nose at her and thought, she's tiny, she hardly comes up to my shoulder, and he'd had to shorten his normally long strides so that she could keep up.

She'd chattered on about how she wants to apprentice as a Healer at St Mungo's - how Hufflepuff can you get! – and about her family, her mother is the Muggle parent, she'd told him her mother is a university lecturer and he couldn't help but be impressed, his father worked at the mill until it closed and now he doesn't do anything – except drink. She'd started to explain what a university was, so he'd told her, "I took an OWL in Muggle Studies," and it's true, it had been an annoying waste of a subject - he'd rather have taken _Divination_ than Muggle Studies - but necessary, if he lets anything drop about the Muggle world that a pureblood shouldn't know, he can always say he'd picked it up in Muggle Studies. The other Slytherins had been a bit surprised, but he'd said, _know your enemy_, and Lucius had been amused – and interested in getting his hands on some Muggle magazines, the kind that had photos of beautiful girls in bikinis.

When they were round the back of Greenhouse Three and out of sight of the castle, Florence had been no more interested in the asphodel than he was ... but he didn't want any misunderstandings, so though he'd slipped his hand under her robes he hadn't dared to unfasten them, she did that, and holy hell she _is_ wearing a lacy Muggle bra. He was astonished, the little Hufflepuff is as bold as Mehitabel, she's taking the bra off, she's _gorgeous_, and she's _touching_ him, he's a bit unsure of what to do next, after all she's only the second girl he's been with, but he does the things that Mehitabel has taught him that she likes, and Florence seems to like it, too. But when it's his turn she seems a little nervous, she's really tight, and for a moment he's worried that he's hurting her, but he soon forgets about that, forgets about everything, forgets that he hasn't cast even a Disillusionment Charm.

Afterwards, she'd cuddled up to him, and it was kind of nice, she was really warm and soft, like a kitten, not that he's ever _had_ a kitten, but then she had to spoil it all by babbling how she loves him. _She loves him_, what sickening rot, that's what his mother says to his father, not that it does her any good, she still gets a thumping. For a moment he'd been so angry his hand had curled into a fist and he'd wanted to hit her, but it's a self-imposed rule he hasn't broken since he started at Hogwarts, he never hits anyone, only Muggles use their fists, a wizard uses spells, and he's not like his father, he doesn't hit girls.

His father! He's of age now, if his father ever raises his hand against him again, if his father ever hits his mother again, he's going to _really_ hurt the filthy Muggle. He knows the spell he'd like to use – _crucio_ – it doesn't leave a mark, oh yes that's the one. He'd like to practice that spell more often than he gets the chance but he daren't, not on Hogwarts grounds, it's an Unforgiveable Curse, not even the Aurors are authorised to use it. He's been in the Headmaster's office a few times, and he knows very well what some of those pretty silver trinkets are, Dark magic detectors, Dumbledore would know if anyone used an Unforgiveable at Hogwarts. And who would be the first suspect, who would be the first person to be hauled up to Dumbledore's office? Severus Snape, the greasy oddball, notorious for his interest in the Dark Arts ...

He'd got a grip on himself, and he'd just put his hand over her mouth, and thank Merlin she had the good sense to shut up and lie quietly next to him. And when he'd calmed down, he'd wanted her again, and she seemed willing, he'd slid his hand up her thigh, and then he'd found blood on his fingers, and realised that she is - _was_ - a virgin, and his first thought was, fucking hell, she's underage, she's only sixteen, I'm going to be in trouble for this, and his second thought was, at least she's not one of Sirius Black's left-overs, like Mehitabel, she's _mine_. He'd felt fiercely possessive, and even a little tender towards her, and as sure as hell he wasn't going to let anyone else touch her, there are spells for that sort of thing, they're part of pureblood wedding ceremonies, he'll do a little research ... another reason for purebloods to despise half-bloods, a Muggle can't enter into a wizarding marriage ceremony so technically all half-bloods are bastards ...

He'd let her hold his hand as they walked back to the castle but as they approached the steps to the Entrance Hall he'd spotted Lupin lurking around, why wasn't he down at the Quidditch pitch with the rest of the Marauders? He'd have liked to flaunt his ownership of such a desirable little thing to the werewolf but he's not sure about being seen with her in public, a Hufflepuff and a half-blood to boot, he's not sure what the other Slytherins will think. And there is Lucius to consider, he greatly admires Lucius, and Lucius is a very important part of his plan for putting maximum distance between himself and Spinner's End, Lucius takes blood purity _very_ seriously, Lucius is always saying that a half-blood is only one step up from a filthy Mudblood. Nevertheless, instinctively, he'd made sure that he was always between Florence and the werewolf, even though it is still a week until full moon, he doesn't trust the brute.

The werewolf! Oh, it looks harmless enough, even friendly, but he's seen it transformed, felt its hot breath, been sprayed by its disgusting slobber, he'd nearly screamed then, he'd had to hold hard to the knowledge that the infection doesn't spread unless the teeth break the skin to prevent himself from panicking. The thing is foul, unclean – and Dumbledore made it a _prefect_. He'd thought, bitterly, Dumbledore didn't make _me_ a prefect, oh no, I've had too many detentions for fighting with Potter and Black, I'm a _troublemaker_. He'd remembered the first fight he'd had with Black, Black had insulted him, suggested that he was a Mudblood, he'd disarmed Black, and then the thug had tried to punch him, and he'd defended himself with a bone-breaking curse that had smashed every bone in Black's right arm and hand. He'd thought, if you're Slytherin you've only got to make one little mistake, I got a lecture from Dumbledore that went for hours and a week's detention for _that_, but Black didn't get into trouble ... and Black didn't get into trouble for trying to feed me to the werewolf, either. And what about Potter, Dumbledore made him Head Boy! Not for the first time, he'd wondered if it was all a set-up, a stunt to make the Golden Gryffindor look good, saving the life of his worst enemy ... nah, the Marauders aren't smart enough to think up something like that, they're idiot Gryffindorks.

So he'd pulled his hand away from hers, but he does want to see her again, and _soon_, and so before they parted it was agreed that they would meet after dinner up on the Astronomy Tower. The Tower is pretty safe, lots of secluded corners, and it will be dark, cold too perhaps but he knows how to cast a warming charm, that's piss-easy first year stuff.

He'd strolled down to the Slytherin Common Room, thinking, maybe these last few months at Hogwarts won't be so bad, I've just got to get through the NEWTs and then I'm out of here and I'm _never_ coming back ... I don't have to go back to Spinner's End, either, Lucius said I could stay with him and Narcissa until I get myself sorted out. And I don't have to see Florence after I graduate, I'll be in London training to be a Gringotts curse breaker and she'll still be at Hogwarts, and what Lucius doesn't know won't hurt him - really, there's no reason why I shouldn't take what she's offering ...

Then he'd forgotten all about Florence, because it was time to meet Lily down in the dungeons, and they were working on something really interesting, a potion to transform the drinker into his or her Animagus form, a really neat potion – why sweat for years to master the Animagus transformation when any half-decent wizard can brew a potion that will do the job in a mere moon cycle? If their potion is up to scratch, Slughorn is going to let the whole class try it – the rest of the class are brewing the antidote, which is a lot less complex. He and Lily have been having a lot of fun, trying to predict what everyone's Animagus form will be, he'd guessed that she would be a vixen, and she'd guessed that he would be a wolf, which had made him scowl for a minute, but he couldn't stay angry with her, Lily was really something - clever, funny and tough – and he'd trusted her enough to tell her he was a half-blood, so they could talk about Muggle stuff together, movies they'd both seen, books and music ...

Life had been pretty good for the past few days, Florence couldn't get enough of him, it was flattering how eager she was to meet him in the evenings, and he wasn't getting tired of her, no, not at all. She'd realised that he didn't want to talk, it was enough afterwards just to hold her, enough to hold her warm little body against his, and to wrap his cloak around them both. He usually didn't get back to the Slytherin Common Room until it was nearly midnight, and it was deeply gratifying to see how Mehitabel was both puzzled and pissed off that he was no longer interested in her, she was welcome to Sirius Black as far as he was concerned, if Black wanted a girl who'd fucked half of Hogwarts he could have her.

Yes, life had been good until this morning - or as good as it could be, given that he was still at school - and now he is facing expulsion, at best, and while he can't wait to get away from Hogwarts, he really, _really_ doesn't want to get expelled. If he's expelled, they'll break his wand, he'll never be able to get another, and he'll have to spend his life as a Muggle. The thought is unbearable, he's trembling with rage and the anger causes the vein to throb in his temple, if Dumbledore expels him, he's not going alone, he'll bring the werewolf down with him, and if he's lucky, Black and Potter as well. He thinks, you _bastard_, Dumbledore, they wouldn't sack you even for letting a werewolf into the school, but Abraxas Malfoy is on the Board of Governors, Lucius might be able to get his father to make it hot for you .., if Lucius is still my friend after this.

Hell, if he's expelled, he might do worse than that, Azkaban could hardly be more horrible than life as a Muggle ... and as the Muggles say, you may as well be hung for a sheep as for a lamb. His hand clenches around his wand, a few green sparks shower from the tip, and a couple of the books in the Restricted Section start to rattle their chains. He whispers _Avada kedavra_, he knows the curse even though he's never used it, maybe he'll use it today, on Potter, Black and Lupin ... Pettigrew, too, the dirty little rat has never dared to hex him, but he practically wets himself with excitement whenever Potter or Black do.

Oh yes, the Marauders must be getting a kick out of this, they were all at breakfast this morning, they'd seen it all ... he'd gone up to breakfast in a very bad mood, he wasn't a morning person at _any_ time, and there'd been a problem with the Animagus potion that had taken him until two o'clock in the morning to sort out, but even half-asleep he'd noticed the buzz that went around the Great Hall when he walked in. What the hell was going on? Then the morning post had arrived, and with it, Lucius' eagle owl, with a letter for him. He'd ripped the letter open, and then he'd been wide awake at once. Merlin's beard, what was Lucius saying about "delighted to hear of your impending nuptials"? He'd scanned the letter, he could _hear_ Lucius' cool, malicious, aristocratic voice as he read the words, "my dear Severus, I would have thought you could do better than a half-blood Hufflepuff," and he'd thought, the story has got to London and back _overnight_, what has the bitch been saying? It was just sex on the Astronomy Tower, it didn't mean anything, I didn't promise her anything, what game is she playing at? He'd looked up, and Mehitabel had smiled wickedly at him and said, "Watch out, Severus, badgers mate for life, you'll be married with three kids before you know it," and then he'd stormed over to the Hufflepuff table to find Florence.

He'd dragged her away from the girlfriends clustered around her and cast _Muffliato_, it was strange how he'd been totally aware of everything around him, aware of the two Hufflepuff seventh year boys with their wands out, looking at him as if they'd like to hex him into a thousand slimy pieces, like _that_ bothered him, he could deal with them; McGonagall looking towards him from the teachers' dias, the sharp eyed old cat has spotted that something's going on; and Lupin skulking around, but he wasn't aware of exactly what he was saying to Florence though he could see in her eyes the effect that his words were having on her. Then he'd realised that the werewolf had come close enough to touch him, was reaching out his hand ... he'd let go of Florence and spun around, his wand raised, his lips curled back, if Lupin touches him he'll really let him have it, _Sectumsempra_ or something even worse. Lupin was saying something, "Leave Florence alone, Severus, she didn't say anything, it was Bertha Jorkins."

Bertha Jorkins! The biggest gossip and snoop in the school, what a credit to Gryffindor _she_ is, she definitely has more guts than brains if she's been trying to get _him_ into strife, and he'd known where to find her, she was in Lily's Charms class. He'd caught up with her on a staircase halfway between the Great Hall and Flitwick's classroom, and she'd had the nerve to lie, she'd said, "I only told people I'd seen you kissing Florence behind the greenhouses." _Kissing!_ It was a lot more than kissing, she must have seen everything, the dirty-minded spying cow, yes, and sniggered to everyone about what she'd seen. She definitely needed to be taught a lesson, so he'd hit her with a couple of basic curses in quick succession, _Jelly-Legs_ and _Furnunculus_, and that had knocked her out and covered her with nasty little tentacles, yes she'd really looked a mess, oh what a pity it wasn't going to be permanent. Then he'd looked up and seen Lily, and thought, _fuck_, Lily knows, and what does she think of me now?

So he'd lost his nerve and bolted to the Library and he's been here ever since, and now it's midmorning and no one has come near him, why hasn't someone come to tell him to go up to the Headmaster's office? Maybe someone won't be coming to tell him to go up to the Headmaster's office, maybe Dumbledore has sent for the Aurors to arrest him. Florence must hate him now, after the things he said to her in the Great Hall, and if she says it was rape Dumbledore will have sent for the Aurors. Merlin, he is in so much trouble ... and what kind of a pig will Lily think he is? But she knows him, knows he wouldn't do anything like that, she _trusts_ him, they've been alone together heaps of times and he's never laid a finger on her, she won't believe it, surely she won't believe it ...

Then someone does come to find him, it's his Head of House, Professor Slughorn, and even though Slughorn has always been decent to him, never tried to squelch his interest in the Dark Arts like the other teachers, and even taught him some stuff that isn't on the curriculum, he's so angry and afraid that he raises his wand and crouches back into his nook, as tense and dangerous as a trapped wolf. He thinks, wildly, damn you, Slughorn, you stupid old queer, you've never stood up for me against the Gryffindor glamour boys, Potter and Black, and you won't stand up for me now, if you've come to tell me to pack my things, if you tell me that I'm expelled ... I'll do it, I swear I'll do it, one powerful Dark spell so close to the Restricted Section will cause an explosion that will destroy half the Library, and I'll do it, just give me a reason and I'll do it.

Unbelievably, Slughorn is smiling, he's ignoring the raised wand, and he's saying something in a breezy, cheerful tone, "I don't know how you did it, my boy, but you've come out of this smelling of roses, the Headmaster thinks that you've acted like a gentleman, defending a lady's honour. The little lady in question is in the Hospital Wing, suffering from shock, and Professor Dumbledore is blaming Miss Jorkins for it - for spreading malicious gossip. Dear me, Miss Jorkins is in more trouble than you are!"

He slumps across his desk with relief, Florence hasn't said anything, he isn't going to be expelled, and Jorkins is in more trouble than he is! A _Gryffindor_ is in trouble! Sweet Merlin, there _is_ a god! And Dumbledore's not as smart as he thought he was, the old man must be losing his grip ... he's not getting off scot free, though, Slughorn is waggling a finger at him, telling him that he expects seventh years to have grown out of hexing each other in the corridors. He'll have to serve a double detention with Hagrid, help him to set trap lines for blood-sucking bugbears, but that's nothing. It's all rather entertaining, really, he'll send an owl to Lucius this afternoon, let him know that the Hufflepuff half-blood girl was just a few days' amusement.

He feels a prickle of shame at the thought of Florence in the Hospital Wing, and a prickle of regret, too, he won't be meeting her on the Astronomy Tower after dinner again, not after what he said to her in the Great Hall. But then he thinks, plenty of girls ask me for help with their Potions assignments, and from now on I'll just be more careful, _once caught twice shy_ as the Muggle saying goes, and it was all her fault anyway, she should have thought about what she was getting into before she put her hand down my trousers.


	2. Chapter 2: Florence

**Chapter 2: Florence**

She couldn't remember when she'd first noticed Severus Snape, when she'd first noticed how the Marauders picked on him, but it was some time last year. Everyone says Gryffindors are so _brave_, but last year the Marauders only dared to pick on Severus when he was alone, when he wasn't with his friends Rosier and Wilkes. They're not so bad this year, well of course James is going out with Lily now, and Lily and Severus are friends, they do a lot of extra NEWT credit work in Potions together, and Lily likes Severus. She'd thought, yes, James has grown up a lot since he started going out with Lily, she's such a good influence on him, he's stopped being quite such a jerk. I mean, he's nice looking and he can be quite pleasant and he _is_ a really good Quidditch player, but he used to be such a pain, always fiddling with his hair and showing off.

And she'd thought, it's so unfair, I liked Severus _first_, and now lots of girls are looking at him and talking about him, they sometimes even ask him to help them with their Potions homework! And that Mehitabel, it's one boy after another with _her_, she'd looked like she was interested in Severus a couple of weeks ago, thank Merlin she's back with Sirius Black now, they deserve each other. She'd remembered when Sirius looked down her robes at The Three Broomsticks, he'd grinned, and then he'd leaned down and kissed her, he'd stunk of firewhisky, and he wasn't taking no for an answer, she'd had to slap his face. Sirius is so handsome, he thinks a girl should swoon if he so much as looks at her, and ... well, these pureblood boys can be a bit funny about Muggle-born and half-blood girls, they think that because women don't wear robes in the Muggle world, they're easy.

She'd remembered how her Muggle mother rolls her eyes at the robed women in Diagon Alley when they go to pick up her school supplies, audibly asks why they're not all wearing a burkah to match their ankle length robes. Her mother thinks the wizarding world is medieval, although she's tried to make her understand, witches aren't oppressed. Sure, Millicent Bagnold is the first witch ever to become Minister for Magic, but lots of girls play Quidditch, and it's a really tough physical game ... and there are female Aurors, like Amelia Bones. Admittedly Amelia Bones has very, very short hair and wears a monocle, but there was a big article in the _Daily Prophet_ about her appointment as Deputy Head of the Auror Office. And Amelia Bones is a Hufflepuff! Her father had been so proud, told her that Amelia Bones was a great witch, the most gifted witch Hufflepuff had produced in generations, but her mother had just snorted and said that one swallow doesn't make a summer.

It's tough being a half-blood, her father works hard at managing being a wizard in the Muggle world, and he's very understanding of her position, but nevertheless it's difficult living half in the Muggle world and half in the wizarding world. Her Muggle friends think she goes to some wacky progressive school chosen by her mother, but the truth couldn't be further from that, Hogwarts isn't medieval but it is a bit ... old-fashioned. And Muggle clothing is absolutely banned, even for visits to Hogsmeade, and you get odd looks from the purebloods if you don't put your school robes on as soon as the Hogwarts Express leaves King's Cross.

She'd thought, Severus is a Slytherin pureblood, and some of those old pureblood families are really horrible about mixed marriages between Muggles and wizards, they despise half-bloods, so I don't suppose he'll ever look at me ... but matches between Slytherins and Hufflepuffs aren't unknown, look at Barty Crouch, his father is Slytherin and his mother is Hufflepuff, and Lily had been encouraging. Lily had told her, "Look, don't get the wrong idea, I'm not saying that Severus is a _nice_ person, but he's not as bad as people make out. The reason why he's so interested in the Dark Arts is that he wants to be a Gringotts curse breaker when he finishes school! And he's really shy, he has no idea how fanciable he is ... a girl would have to make the first move."

So she'd started hanging around the Library, near the Restricted Section, hoping that Severus would notice her, maybe even talk to her, and he had noticed her – he'd looked down her robes one day, and he'd _blushed_, it was so sweet, he was nothing like that awful, arrogant Sirius Black. And since that day he'd often given her a quick glance, and she'd looked back.

And last Thursday afternoon, Remus Lupin had come into the Library and asked her where Lily was. She knew who he was, a seventh year Gryffindor prefect and one of the Marauders, he was nice enough but not that memorable, and he was sick a lot, too, he was always in the Hospital Wing. He'd asked her where Lily was, what a silly question, Lily would be at the Gryffindor Quidditch practice, watching James. She'd noticed how Severus had scowled at the sight of Lupin, and she'd felt a spasm of anger, Lupin is a prefect but he never stops his friends from ganging up on Severus ... and then she'd thought, this can't go on, it's now or never, and she'd found the courage to ask Severus for help with her Potions assignment, she has to write three feet of parchment on the uses of asphodel.

He'd looked down his long nose at her for a moment, and then he'd rattled off heaps of useful information, and without even looking at a book! "The leaves of asphodel or Asphodelus Ramosus are toxic but the roots are used as one of the principal ingredients in a complex potion known as the Draught of Living Death. Asphodel also has many additional uses: it is used in many healing potions especially as a restorative agent for cuts and burns as the root can be ground into a fine powder and mixed with a liquid base to create a thick substance that is then spread over the injured areas to prevent infections and reduce the pain; asphodel leaves are used, despite their poisonous qualities, as a hallucinogenic in Ethiopia; in China, Muggles add the roots to facial cream as it helps to remove blemishes and gives the skin a fresh, soft and supple feeling; the roots can also be fermented to create a very potent alcoholic beverage, or so I've been informed; and finally the most common place to find asphodel is in Muggle church graveyards as it was a custom to plant them on fresh graves as the flowers were thought to be food for the dead."

She'd looked admiringly into his eyes and she'd thought, gosh, he has eyes like a Hippogriff, and they really are black, they're not dark brown or dark blue, they're _black_, I can't tell the difference between the pupil and the iris. He'll never be handsome, not with that nose, but he's more than handsome, he's _beautiful_. And she'd leaned across the desk and kissed him, very tentatively, she'd just let her lips graze his, but he hadn't needed a second invitation, he'd kissed her back, and very enthusiastically. And then he'd asked whether she wanted to come down to the greenhouses, he'll show her where there's a patch of asphodel growing behind Greenhouse Three.

She'd thought, I can't believe this ... it's a beautiful spring day, and Severus has kissed me _and_ he's asked me to go out for a walk with him, this is so perfect! On the way down to the greenhouses she'd chattered away, told him why she was so interested in Potions, she wants to apprentice as a Healer at St Mungo's, OK, it's kind of a traditional Hufflepuff thing to do but wizards could learn a lot from Muggle medicine. Immunisation, for example – it's unknown in the wizarding world, which is why dragon pox still kills so many little children and old people. And she'd told him about her mother, she's a university lecturer, in semiotics. He'd looked blank when she told him the joke - what do you get when you cross a semiotician with a gangster? An offer you can't understand! And then she'd realised that he probably didn't know what a university was, let alone anything about semiotics ... and she'd started to explain about Muggle universities, but he'd said, "I took an OWL in Muggle Studies."

She'd thought, who would have believed that – Severus is actually curious about Muggles, and he's listening to me, he seems really interested, not like most boys, they just want to talk about themselves ... and when they were round the back of Greenhouse Three and out of sight of the castle, he had been no more interested in the asphodel than she was. They'd kissed for a while and then he'd slipped his hand under her robes but he hadn't tried to unfasten them, not like that Muggle boy at her cousin's birthday party who had tried to take her blouse off, and she'd thought, he really is shy, this won't go any further unless I do something ... and she'd unfastened her robes, and then her bra, it just seemed so _right_. And she'd _touched_ him, she'd never touched a boy like that before ... and one thing had led to another, he was so gentle and considerate, and then so passionate, and she'd known, with absolute certainty, that they'd always be together.

Afterwards, she'd cuddled up to him, he'd held her, and she'd whispered, "I love you." He'd put his hand over her mouth, and she'd understood – words weren't necessary, words just spoiled everything. Of course she loved him, she'd loved him for months ... and he must know that, she wouldn't be lying in the asphodel patch with him if she didn't love him.

He'd held her hand as they made their way back to the castle – until he'd spotted Lupin hanging around, she could have smacked Lupin, why did he have to ruin everything? She wouldn't have minded walking up the steps of the Entrance Hall hand-in-hand with Severus, she was proud to be with him, he's so clever and talented, he's going to be a great curse-breaker, and underneath the prickly exterior, when you get close to him, he's so different, he's really sweet. Damn Lupin, Severus is so wary of the Marauders, and she can understand that, they'd tease him about having a girlfriend, especially a half-blood Hufflepuff girlfriend.

The next few days had been heavenly, he was so eager to meet her on the Astronomy Tower in the evenings, and she'd realised that he didn't want to talk, it was enough afterwards for him to just to hold her, enough to hold his warm body against hers, and to wrap his cloak around them both. She usually didn't get back to the Hufflepuff Common Room until it was nearly midnight, her friends were going mad trying to guess who she was seeing, but their romance was still a secret so she'd just smiled and refused to say anything, except that it is _not_ Sirius Black.

This morning everything had gone wrong, horribly wrong, dreadfully wrong ... as wrong as it could go. She'd come up to the Great Hall for breakfast, a little late, looked hopefully over at the Slytherin table, but Severus wasn't there, well he hardly ate breakfast, normally he just had a piece of toast. Her friends had gathered around her, looking anxious, and then they'd told her, told her what Bertha Jorkins was saying about her. She'd started to cry, it was awful what Bertha was saying, it might be true but it was awful of her to say it, she's such a dreadful gossip. She'd remembered the horrible things that Bertha said last year about that Ravenclaw prefect, the girl who hadn't come back to Hogwarts after the Christmas holidays - and now everyone was looking at _her_ the way they'd looked at that poor girl, the Slytherins were openly smirking, the Ravenclaws seemed troubled, and the Gryffindors looked disgusted. She'd thought, Severus isn't going to like this, he's so proud and sensitive, he might lose his temper and hex somebody and then he'll be in trouble. And what if the teachers find out, they might owl my parents, Professor Dumbledore might have already owled my parents ... they'd better not try and interfere, I'll be seventeen in a few months, I'll be of age, and then they won't be able to tell me what to do, I'll run away to be with Severus in London if they try to stop me seeing him.

When Severus walked into the Great Hall, he hadn't even looked at her, did he know? Why hadn't he come over to speak to her, to show everyone that they didn't care about Bertha's nasty gossip? Then the post had arrived and there was a letter from her parents but she hadn't dared to even open it. Severus had got a letter, too, delivered by a magnificent eagle owl, someone recognised it as Lucius Malfoy's owl. He'd torn open the letter, scanned it, and then he'd come stalking over the Hufflepuff table, grabbed her by the arm so tightly it had hurt, and he'd said things, things she couldn't even remember, it was the tone of voice that hurt more than the words, and the awful look on his face. Then he'd let go of her and spun around with his wand raised, and she'd thought he was going to hex Lupin, in the Great Hall, right under Professor McGonagall's nose, and she'd whispered, "No!" Lupin had said, "Leave Florence alone, Severus, she didn't say anything, it was Bertha Jorkins," and then Severus had stormed off, looking as if he was ready to kill Bertha.

And now she's in the Hospital Wing, she's been in the Hospital Wing all morning, Madam Pomfrey has given her a soothing draught of some kind, and she's cried so much that there are no more tears left. She feels strange ... it's hard to describe, it's as if someone has taken a Muggle vacuum cleaner and sucked out all her insides, leaving her completely empty. There's just an emptiness, a gnawing emptiness, and she can't feel anything, just numbness.

She'd heard Professor McGonagall speaking softly to someone on the other side of the curtains that have been drawn around her bed, she'd recognised Bertha's voice, and realised that Bertha was also in the Hospital Wing, and she'd been afraid, what has Severus done to Bertha? And thank god Professor Sprout is away for a week, if she was here she'd be fussing dreadfully. Professor Sprout is lovely, but the last thing she needs is her Head of House fussing and asking questions and insisting on owling her parents.

Thank Merlin, Madam Pomfrey is telling Bertha that she's fine, she can leave the Hospital Wing, it doesn't sound too serious, but now Professor McGonagall is telling Bertha that the Headmaster wants to see her! Oh no, it's all going to come out now ... Severus might even be expelled and that's not fair, it's not right, it wasn't his fault, it wasn't wrong, when two people love each other it isn't wrong.

Once Bertha has gone, Madam Pomfrey pulls back the curtains, feels her forehead, and gives her some more of the soothing draught, and she dozes for a while ... and when she wakes up, the Headmaster himself is sitting next to her bed. He explains that, in the absence of her Head of House, it is incumbent on him to concern himself with her welfare.

She asks, "Professor Dumbledore, have you owled my parents?"

He replies, "If I owled the parents every time a pair of my students kissed each other behind the greenhouses, the air would be thick with owls."

She's relieved – he doesn't know - or if he does, he's not going to do anything about it ...

She asks, "Sir, is Severus in trouble?"

Professor Dumbledore suddenly looks sad, anxious, and somehow older, and he repeats her words, "Is Severus in trouble?" Then he smiles, pats her hand, and tells her, "Definitely! Mr Snape will be serving a double detention with Rubeus Hagrid for hexing Bertha Jorkins."

It's only detention, that's nothing! But the tears start again, even though she'd thought there were no tears left ... she's almost gasping aloud with the pain, the pain of her heart tearing into rags, because it's all over, Severus won't want to meet her on the Astronomy Tower after dinner again, not after what he said to her in the Great Hall.

Professor Dumbledore is looking concerned, he wants to know if she's all right, is she ready to go back to the Hufflepuff common room? And she thinks, yes, I am ready ... as ready as I'm ever going to be, I'm OK, just some cramps, I must be getting my period early, and I might as well face the music, face all the horrible, angry things they're going to say about Severus - the whole of Hufflepuff will hate him now as well as the whole of Gryffindor, except Lily. Oh Bertha, why did you have to do it? Why did you have to snoop on us, and why did you have to tell everyone? If there's a god, if there's any justice, one day your snooping and spying will get you into real trouble, I really hope so, because what you did was really bad, it was cruel. I could forgive you for hurting me, but I can't forgive you for hurting Severus.

**Peanuts107: if you're reading this, I lifted the stuff about asphodel from "The Way of the Badger" – I hope you don't mind. I would have asked permission but I couldn't access your e-mail address.**


	3. Chapter 3: Bertha

**Chapter 3: Bertha**

She had planned to go down to the Quidditch pitch and watch the Gryffindor team practice, there was a chance that something exciting might happen – James might fall off his broom and break an arm, Sirius might get hit in the head by a Bludger, not likely though, it was when Sirius was playing that spectators tended to get hit by Bludgers. She remembers when McGonagall kicked Sirius off the team, he'd only played Beater in one match and he'd been kicked off for deliberately aiming a Bludger at Severus Snape, maybe McGonagall wouldn't have been so peeved if Slytherin hadn't won the match, but the penalty awarded against Sirius had put the Snakes in the lead, which was so unfair considering that the Bludger hadn't even hit Snape. Yes, their Head of House takes Quidditch really seriously, well she had played for the Wimbourne Wasps herself ... normally she was cool about the constant feuding between Snape and the Marauders, but not if it was going to cost Gryffindor a Quidditch match.

She'd thought, Sirius _really_ doesn't like Snape, the things he says about him! I wonder if he really is gay, it's true I've never seen him with a girl even though lots of girls have got interested in him this year, since he grew up a bit and stopped looking so dorky, since he started looking dark, brooding and gothic instead of dark, surly and twitchy. Yes, lots of girls have asked him to help them with their Potions homework, everyone knows that he and Lily are really good at Potions, but they don't ask Lily to help them, do they, hahaha, but either he doesn't get the hint or Sirius is right, he really is a ... what does Sirius call him? A pillow biter? Urgh, do boys really do _that_ together? Sirius has _got_ to be making it up about Snape and Lucius Malfoy - Lucius married Narcissa Black almost as soon as she left school, and when they were both at Hogwarts he couldn't keep his hands off her.

She'd thought, Lily looks disgusted when Sirius talks like that about Snape, I think she doesn't mind Snape, even if he did call her a filthy Mudblood during the OWLs. Well, _I_ don't like Snape, the stuck up Slytherin pureblood, he looks at me like I'm dirt just because my dad's a Muggle! And it's his own fault if no one likes him, he's even nasty to Remus, who never does anything to him, and Remus is so sick all the time, it must be something pretty bad, worse than dragon pox, I wonder if he's going to die? Maybe he's got something like that Muggle disease, cystic fibrosis or whatever it is, kids who've got that only live until they're about twenty, ooh how tragic ... poor Remus, he's sweet but kind of forgettable, I'd love to know what's wrong with him, if it was something fatal, I bet some girl would feel sorry for him, I bet some girl would snog him because she's sorry for him.

She'd thought, poor Remus, he's never been snogged, not like Sirius, he gets snogged all the time. I don't really want to go down to the Quidditch pitch and watch Sirius snogging that Slytherin bitch, _she_ doesn't stop at snogging, not if half the things I've heard about her are true ... I don't know why they don't chase her off the pitch, she's the Slytherin Seeker for god's sake, she's only there to check out James' moves! But Sirius is such a sucker for a pretty face, he only looks at the beautiful girls ... damn Sirius, why does he have to be so handsome? He's the best looking boy in the school, and he only looks at me when I've got something interesting to tell him.

Then she'd seen Snape and that little Hufflepuff fifth year, Florence ... Florence something, the name was on the tip of her tongue ... coming down the steps of the Entrance Hall together, and this looked much, much more interesting than yet another Thursday afternoon Gryffindor Quidditch practice. She knows who Florence is, she's the girl who slapped Sirius' face in The Three Broomsticks a few weeks ago, what's a prim and proper Hufflepuff girl doing with the Slytherin bad boy? And what is Snape doing with a _girl_, a Hufflepuff and a half-blood to boot?

She'd put her Omnioculars back in her pocket, and discreetly followed them down to the greenhouses, tucked herself under a bush, and watched the action. It looks like Sirius is wrong about Snape, from the way that he's snogging Florence, blimey, she's unfastening her robes, what a little trollop! And taking her bra off! She knew she shouldn't have watched what happens next, it's private, but it's a bit like a nasty Muggle car accident, you can't help but look, it's fascinatingly horrible. And it's both shocking and exciting, it gives her a funny feeling in the pit of her stomach ... she couldn't stop watching, she could see _everything_ with the Omnioculars, and she hadn't even noticed the cramps that she was getting from being crouched under the bush, unable to move. She'd thought, I hope you're being _careful_, Florence, this is how girls get into trouble, like that girl last year, she was a Ravenclaw and a prefect but she still got into trouble, oh yes she had to get married in a hurry, Dumbledore tried to keep it quiet but I found out about it, I overheard Pomfrey talking to Flitwick about it ...

Finally, the two lovebirds had finished groping each other and headed back to the castle, hand in hand, and she scuttled out from under her bush and followed them. She'd seen how quick Snape was to disentangle himself from Florence when he saw Remus in the distance, and she'd thought, ooh, this is a secret romance, I wonder how long this has been going on?

It was hard to keep quiet about such a hot piece of news but she really didn't want to talk about it, she knew that if she said anything about what she knew, it was all going to come out, it wasn't just kissing, and she'd felt a bit embarrassed about what she'd seen ... so it was best to hold her tongue, though she couldn't help keeping an eye on Snape and Florence during meals in the Great Hall, they acted like nothing was going on! Except that Florence seemed to be looking over towards the Slytherin table an awful lot, but Snape never looked back.

But yesterday evening in the Gryffindor Common Room she hadn't been able to keep quiet any longer. The Marauders and Lily were talking about the Animagus Potion that Lily was making with Snape, part of their extra NEWT credit work, James was joking about what his Animagus form would be, James was sure that he was a stag, and Sirius and Peter had joined in the fun, even though they weren't in the NEWTs Potions class. Remus had kept quiet, but he never had much to say for himself, did he? Then the conversation had turned to Snape, Sirius thought he'd be either a bat or a spider, and then he'd said, "I bet Snivelly isn't as good at Potions as everyone says he is, he only gets top marks because he's Slughorn's bumboy." There'd been silence, really Sirius was going too far, saying that sort of thing about a teacher, and then she'd chimed in, "Snape isn't gay, I saw him kissing Florence behind the greenhouses last Thursday."

Sirius had been intrigued immediately, he'd remembered Florence, and he'd demanded more details, and somehow she'd found herself saying, "It was more than kissing," and leaning forward and whispering into Sirius' ear. Sirius had burst out laughing, jumped to his feet and headed towards the portrait hole. He'd said, "I bet Snivellus' boyfriend doesn't know about this, I'm sending an owl to Malfoy," and Lily had jumped to her feet, and shouted at Sirius, "Can't you just leave Severus _alone_ for once?" but he'd disappeared out of the portrait hole without a backwards glance. Lily had looked as if she was going after him, but James had placed a hand on her arm, and she'd sat down again, looking really angry.

Sirius must have told someone about it when he went up to the Owlery, because at breakfast this morning quite a few people had come up to her and asked her, is it true, did you _really_ see Snape and Florence behind the greenhouses last Thursday? She'd thought, might as well be hung for a sheep as for a lamb, so she'd made the most of it, why not? It was the juiciest thing to come her way for months, it might be a bit hard on Florence, she was sitting with a little bunch of her friends and she looked like she was crying, but honestly, what could the girl expect, if she went around behaving like _that_, and with a greasy Slytherin git to boot?

Lily had looked daggers at her, but she'd thought, it's all very well for you, Lily Evans, you're Head Girl, you're pretty, you're popular, you're engaged to James Potter, you're going to graduate with brilliant marks ... not like me, I'll be lucky to scrape through the NEWTs and get a clerk's job in the Ministry of Magic, and people only pay attention to me if I've got some news to tell them. Then Snape had come into the Great Hall, late, as usual, looking thoroughly nasty tempered, as usual. He'd sat down, and nibbled on a piece of toast, as usual, and she'd thought, your girlfriend is in tears but _you_ don't care, you really don't care what people think about you, what a shameless Slytherin, oh well, time for Charms, I won't wait for the post, I'm not expecting any mail ... and she'd headed off to her Charms class.

Snape had caught up with her on a staircase on the way to Charms and demanded to know what she'd been saying about him, and at first she hadn't been scared, Snape wouldn't hex a girl, and she'd thought, what are you so pissed off about anyway, Snape, at least no one thinks you're queer anymore ... but when she'd said, "I only told people I'd seen you kissing Florence behind the greenhouses," he'd known she was lying and he'd looked absolutely murderous. He'd raised his wand ... and the next thing she'd known, she was waking up in the Hospital Wing.

Pomfrey had sent for McGonagall, and she'd swept in, sat down next to her bedside, gestured to another bed around which the curtains were drawn, and told her, in a low voice, to be quiet – Florence was in that bed, under sedation for shock. She'd looked at her Head of House and although she'd seen McGonagall angry on several occasions, she'd forgotten how thin her mouth could go, and she'd thought, the old cat knows, and she's blaming _me_, that's so unfair, I don't know why Florence is being so soppy, maybe Snape has broken up with her now their little secret is out but that's not my fault, what else would you expect from that nasty Slytherin bastard?

After she'd drunk her restorative draught and Pomfrey had given permission for her to leave the Hospital Wing, McGonagall had escorted her to the Headmaster's office, Dumbledore himself wanted to see her! And then she'd started to feel a bit afraid, this is serious trouble ... but she's going to stick to her story, it was just kissing, it's not likely that Snape or Florence are going to say anything different, and Snape ought to be in trouble, too, hexing her like that! So she'd said, "He put a hex on me, Professor Dumbledore, and I was only teasing him, sir, I only said I'd seen him kissing Florence behind the greenhouses last Thursday ..."


End file.
